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Losing a loved one is traumatic. We don't experience sadness in this society very well. A client sometimes says to me: "What's wrong with me, he (or she) died a couple of months ago and I can't get on with my life." Each of us finds our own way to grieve, and I will support you in navigating yours.
People used to wear black for a year: it gives a message, doesn't it? It says, "Be careful with me, please, I might suddenly cry, or be a little nutty." Or the message might be: "I'm not able to do my work very well, I get distracted and sad, so give me a bit of a break." If only it were the way we handled our grief these days.
There is no timetable for grief. We each go through it in our own way. For me grief is like the ocean. Sometimes it is calm, or a little choppy. Suddenly, a big wave comes along and you have to hold on and ride it.
You probably have your own image for your grief. Knowing that it comes at unexpected times and that you have to "ride that wave" seems to make it a bit more manageable.
You might feel anger with your loved one who has "deserted" you, and left you to deal with everything on your own. There is no wrong feeling, just very uncomfortable ones.
You need to be gentle with yourself so that you can find the inner strength that gets you through the rough patches. You also might find that sharing with others about your sadness is the answer.
As with any trauma, grieving sometimes can make you feel that you're a little crazy.
Together we will get you through these tough periods, and hopefully, with time, you will find some peace and acceptance of your loss.